“A lot of parents will do anything for their children, except let them be themselves.”
I honestly strongly dislike my parents most of the time. I know it’s horrible of me to say, but it’s true. My parents are irrational, unreasonable, quick to judge, and so many other things I could sit here and list for hours. I don’t like this house. I don’t like this city. I don’t like this state. I just want to get out of here. It’s become almost oppressive lately. My parents tell me I have an attitude. Okay. It’s hard not to have an attitude when my parents think they know everything and never want to listen to me. They don’t want to understand. They only want to see it their way.
It’s hard to be myself here. My parents still hold on to many of their old ways, despite living in American for so long. Growing up in America, I’m obviously going to see things very differently from them. I don’t know when they’re going to realize that high school is not the same as it was back in their country God knows how many years ago. Anytime I try to broach some topics with my parents, I just end up feeling extremely angry and more bitter after the whole thing is over. I love my parents, but I don’t want to be anything like them. I can’t stand my mother as a person sometimes. While I have a ‘better understanding’ with my father, he can be so…I don’t even know. I feel like slamming my head against a wall when I ‘talk’ to them most of the time. Because of that, I mostly try to avoid talking to them. I’m grateful for what they do for me and I know they’re not perfect, but that’s not going to change my feelings about them.
I guess this should be my motivation to do better in school. So I can hightail it from this place to a college many, many miles away. The last thing I want to do is go to college in Texas. I mean, hell, I don’t even care about college that much, but if it means taking me away from here, then I’ll be like those college crazy kids in my school. I’m unhappy here, and I don’t think my state of happiness will be changing anytime soon.
Anyway, this post is probably full of a lot of errors, but I don’t care because I have a wonderful 400+ page book to read before tomorrow that I’ve been putting off for weeks now! Exciting!