After countless applications and several interviews, I finally got my first job a couple of weeks ago. Processing, background checks and incompetent people in charge delayed me from starting work until about a week ago. How do I like it so far? I don’t. It sucks. I’m working at a department store and now I’m thinking I’d have enjoyed working at McDonalds more (I actually was about to work there). I was always told that working sucks countless times from friends, family, etc. but I figured, “hey, as long as I’m getting paid, it can’t be as bad as they make it out to be…right?” I was sorta kinda wrong. The fact that I’m getting paid for doing backbreaking work is an extremely slight consolation. Considering I’m getting paid shit $7.75 an hour. The injustice. The 20% percent discount I get isn’t too bad I suppose. At least I’m getting paid. That’s all that matters. That’s all that matters…*stares blankly into space and cries at the thought of going to work tomorrow*. Alright, the list.

  1. I’m terrible at interacting with people – Ok, so my new job hasn’t exactly taught me this, but it has definitely highlighted and made me even more aware of how terrible my social skills are. I’m painfully awkward (emphasis on painfully; sometimes I lie in bed at night, kept awake thinking about awkward situations that occurred eons ago) and quiet, which pretty much goes against the qualities I should have working at a place like this (but they’re the ones who hired me so…). I’m motivated now more than ever to pick a major that requires little interaction with people. I get the feeling that some of the people I work with think I’m rude. I’m really not. I’m just quiet. Then again, I don’t really have any desire to know some of them better bloop.
  2. Retail really sucks – I’ve heard this countless times as well, but I really had no idea what I was getting into when I first applied for this job. I honestly did not know. I didn’t think I’d be doing so much walking and lifting and bending and tearing at packages bigger than me. I could go on and on. I’m being thrust into every position possible, learning things within 30 minutes and then expected to perform said learned things immediately after learning. It’s ridiculous. Management sucks too. I had to hound one of the managers just to get the damn job (he’s a major part of the reason why it took so long for me to start). Alright, sucks might be too strong of a word, but they annoy me greatly.
  3. People are stupid – Again, new job hasn’t taught me this amazing truth; it’s only intensified my feelings. From dealing with customers and co-workers, this job has strengthened my strong dislike of most of the human population. It’s over 9000 now. Shoppers seem to lose basic manners and the ability to function like decent human beings as soon as they step into the store. They can’t pick up after themselves, think we’re slaves that should cater to their every will, and not to mention, they let their spawn run wild destroying the store. This job has also made me even more sure of my decision to never have children. Co-workers…mmmmm. It’s been about a week since I’ve been here and I’ve worked a lot of hours and seen the same people daily…and yet…and yet…they still cannot pronounce my name correctly. I’ve made a post about my name in the past, and I just…?????? WHY?? I don’t understand. I really don’t. The way I’m endlessly pronouncing my name for the same people and the way they keep butchering it would have you thinking my name is some 7 syllable tongue twister. It’s not. FOUR LETTERS. TWO SYLLABLES. Today I pronounced my name like 10 times (I’m not even exaggerating) for this guy and they way he kept repeating it back to me made me want to shove a cactus down his throat. It’s almost as if they want to pronounce it their way, if that makes any sense. It’s like they really don’t want my name to be the way it’s pronounced. They’re all so basic.

I had originally planned to make a list of ten things, but I think I’ll stop here for now. I really don’t like this job at all. Boo hoo, poor me (I know what you guys are thinking…just let me moan and groan). I’m a seasonal employee so come late August, I’m jetting off to college and saying adios to this job (forever hopefully). I wish they’d give me more hours though. They have me working 17 hours a week. I’ve calculated how much I would earn by the end of summer if that stands, and that’s barely enough to cover all the stuff I want to buy in addition to having quite a bit of money left over (the new laptop I need takes a large chunk of it). Sigh. At least I’m getting paid…

My 13-year-long (primary + secondary) public school education is over, and I can think of only one thing that aptly describes how I feel about it.

I graduated from high school on Saturday, June 8th, praise Jesus. My school does the whole Latin honors stuff so I graduated magna cum laude. Yay me. I’ll never have to see any a majority of these people ever again in my life. Hallelujah! Although, I’d be lying if I said it won’t be strange not seeing many of the same faces I’ve been seeing daily for the past 4 years, and even 7 years. I guess you could say that I had a good amount “school friends”…meaning that I never actually interacted with any of them outside of school. I did meet some really amazing and cool people these last two years though. So I’m not totally averse to the idea of seeing those gems that shined brightly apart from the hundreds of turds from my school again in the future.

I’m excited for what the future will bring; curious as to whether or not I’ll be the same secluded, pathetic, non-school friendless person that I am now; delirious at the idea of partying till I drop (among many other things) without my parents ever knowing, and so much more. I’m just ready for it to be late August already with me situated in my dorm and everything. For once in my life, I actually want summer to go by quickly. I know college won’t be a field of daisies and whatnot, but damn, that doesn’t make me any less excited.

Also, it’s not my blog anniversary. It was actually 14 days ago, on May 26th. I started this post then, but I didn’t get around to finishing it until now, bloop. So in honor of my 5-year blogiversary, I decided to change my url. I felt it was time for something new :) I actually wanted the url ‘ancoraimparo.’ Ancora imparo is Italian for ‘still I learn,’ and it’s a phrase I seriously love. Since that url was taken, I settled for this one, which basically means the same thing. I’d been wanting to change my blog url for a while, but when it came down to it, I didn’t know what to change it to. It wasn’t until I did my senior reflection centered around the phrase that I decided on it.

Oh, and I updated my playlist! The first song is a tribute to my graduation from high school. And like how all my playlists usually are, it’s a bunch of random songs. So don’t expect to listen to just one genre. It jumps around a lot. Hell yeah! (ok please don’t judge and listen to the rest pls and thank).

I was happily surfing the internet when I thought to myself, don’t I have a blog?

Indeed, I do. I always seem to forget about this old blog of mine. It has so many memories. Club Penguin, the people I formed connections with, etc. Don’t fret, whatever people who still check my blog every now and then (none), this is not a goodbye post. Just some updates since my last post (which was five months ago…typing it out now, that’s a very long time…wasn’t October like 2 months ago?)

  • I got a new phone in December. I had my old phone since 2009. It was malfunctioning and being fickle, as all phones are programmed to do at some point by evil manufacturers. I am now the owner of a Samsung Android. The world of touchscreen and apps was completely foreign to me and I spent many a night exploring the phenomenon that was my new phone. It now sits on my bed, rarely used, except for phone calls and texts to family members and the occasional game (just like my old phone…)
  • I’ve become an avid football fan (I am forever stuck between saying ‘football’ and sounding like a prick, and saying ‘soccer’ and sounding like a prick). Real Madrid is the love of my life atm. I’ve spent many nights dreaming of going to a RM game, or a huge football game (like the World Cup). The atmosphere, the sounds, the fans, watching the game play out right in front of me…thinking about all of that makes me want to cry. The likelihood of me going to Spain or Brazil any time soon (or at all) is zero to none. I’ll just have to be content with livestreams and whatnot (for now). But seriously, I love Real Madrid. I recently got two jerseys from this season. I’m in love.
  • I’ve been accepted to two colleges, out of the three I applied to. One is way too close to home, and the other is hours away and where I will most likely go. The third college (UT; if you’re reading this, fuck your shitty admissions) I applied to did not accept me because I’m not good enough for them. So they offered me some shitty program that I’m not going to accept. Woot.
  • I still have no idea what the heck I want to do in life. For the time being, I’m planning on being a business major. Although, sitting in MacroEco for 53 minutes of my life has seriously made me reconsider that. Why can’t I just be rich and travel the world?

High school sucks, as usual. Graduation is in 3 months (!!!). Spring Break is next week (Hallelujah!). And I still don’t have a job (*sad violin*). Ugh, I would like this whole job process a lot better if I could avoid the awkward phone calls and inquiries. I almost got a job back in November, but that fell through (why can’t adults just be truthful?). I just want $$$.

I’ll try to update more often, but…y’all know how it goes.

I SAID POSTPARTUM DEPRESSION INSTEAD OF POST TRAUMATIC STRESS DISORDER DURING MY PRESENTATION IN GOVERNMENT TODAY

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I thought I was ready to rumble. I was gonna kick ass on the stupid presentation and lay it down for the dumbass republican simpletons in my class…BUT I SCREWED IT UP. I hate public speaking. Especially when I have to do it in front a bunch of ignorant, self absorbed teenagers. I didn’t think I was that bad until today. Clearly I have not given a presentation in a long time to have forgotten that every time I give one, I blank out and forget all the stuff I plan to say and my voice shakes like I’m about to burst into tears. Woe is me. I suck.

Welp. In addition to my terrible public speaking skills, I think I have reached the fullest extent of my hatred of driving. In the two months I’ve been driving regularly, I’ve managed to:

  • Kill my car battery TWICE
  • almost back into a car in a McDonalds parking lot
  • almost RIP OFF THE FRONT BUMPER OF MY CAR (thankfully a nice worker helped me out of that one)
  • hit the back of the car that parks next to me as I was pulling into my parking space at school (thankfully it was absolutely nothing and  thank GOD I have late arrival)
  • set off my car alarm by only inserting the key (IDEK)

So my car is really old. On Friday, when I was about to leave school, I opened my car like usual and the alarm started going off. It was pretty embarrassing, but I managed to shut it up and drive home. It went off again a couple hours after I got home so my father took out the battery. We tried to put the battery back so we could take it to the mechanic, but the alarm started going off again.  Now it’s sitting in our driveway and I’m driving my sister’s car to school for the time being. My sister’s car is much more different than my car (I’m still getting used to it), so that’s kind of the reason why I accidentally hit that car earlier this week. I. Hate. Driving.

Progress I’ve made on my college apps: NONE. I’ve written ONE FREAKIN’ ESSAY and I’ve only applied for two scholarships (which are no essay ones and probably thousands of people applied to them as well). I don’t know what I want to major in, which makes this college thing ten times more difficult. I want to get into UT but it seems like a far fetched goal now. SHit.

Happy 18th birthday to me! I’m legal now! Several times throughout the day, I had to remind myself it was my birthday. I’d be like, “‘what’s today’s date?” And then I remembered it’s my birthday. My birthday gifts: a big can of Cashew nuts from my dad [I love my dad :’) ] and a pair of size 10 Coach shoes from my mother (I wear a size 8 but my mom seems convinced I’ll grow into the shoes. I think she was joking when she said that.) I’ll probably return the shoes or something, but it’s not really a priority atm.

I didn’t tell anyone at school it was my birthday. I don’t like faux cheery birthday wishes from people who don’t care about me. In case you guys haven’t noticed, I have no real friends. That might seem really sad, but—ok who am I kidding? It is pretty pathetic. But as depressing at it might seem when you read that, I assure you it’s really not. Welp, I live a sad life…that sounds too dramatic.

Anyway, school still sucks. I’m not sure why I’m even taking AP English. We have an essay due every week. I’m not exaggerating. It doesn’t seem too bad, but I just want to be lazy. And since I’m lazy, I don’t want to grow through the pains of dropping an AP class again. It’s a long and irritating process.

I went back to the post I made about the 1st semester of my Freshman year in December ’09 (I started blogging regularly after that, and blogged for the whole year of 2010). Oh, how things have changed. I feel like my recent posts are more dreary in a way. Or maybe I was just too pumped up in my older posts?

Four more hours left of my birthday. Gonna make the most of it by eating some cashews. Jeah!

First week of school down…too many more to go. The week really dragged out. It didn’t even feel like we just came back to school by the time Friday rolled around. My schedule for the school year:

1. Late Arrival

2. College Algebra

3. US Government (1st semester)/AP Macroeconomics (2nd semester)

4. English IV AP

5 & 6. Culinary Arts

7. Early release

It’s nice driving to school. It’s also nice having late arrival and early release. I don’t have to deal with the influx of students in the parking lot before and after school. And I gain an hour of sleep and leave school an hour early. Senior year has been boring so far. I like my teachers (atm…we’ll see how I feel in a couple of weeks) and I have acquaintances I’ve known for some time in my classes, so I’m not too lonely. I can tell senior year will be just as unremarkable as my past years in high school have been. I doubt I’ll go to any football games, or sports games (Fact: I haven’t been to any sports games at my school and I don’t plan on it). Homecoming is a big fat no. Prom is still a question mark (I probably will not end up going, much to the dismay of my sister and mother haha). Hmmm…what else? Clubs! I wanted to join student council but I don’t know anymore. Anyway, senior year is boring. I am boring. My life is boring.

US Gov is interesting. I don’t care for politics, though, I educated myself a little on them this past summer. I still don’t understand a large chunk of it, but at least I don’t feel as ignorant of it as I used to be. It’ll be interesting how this semester pans out. Living in Texas, going to a predominately white school full of Republicans, and many of those Republicans are in my class. Republicans are irritating. As are Democrats, but not as much as Republicans. Mitt Romney is ew. Obama is eh. I don’t care for either of the candidates. In the end, all politicians are the same. False promises and many, many lies. Reminds me of kids running for class president in elementary school. “IF I WIN CLASS PRESIDENT, I PROMISE THERE WILL BE NO MORE HOMEWORK.” Yeah…lol.

I applied to Starbucks on Friday. I’m going to call them tomorrow (I applied to different locations around my area). Since summer’s over I’m hoping there will be lots of open positions from the places I want to work at. I need to start on college applications too. Sigh. At least I don’t have school tomorrow.

Concerns about my upcoming senior year

  • which teachers will let me eat in their classroom?
  • will I get a good parking spot?
  • will I be able to sneak off campus for lunch (and get away with it)?
  • what is the least amount of work I can do and still manage good grades?

And yes, you read the 2nd bullet correct! I am licensed! I managed to get an appointment August 14th, a couple days after my failed first attempt at a license (I never even made it past the front desk). So yeah, last Tuesday I took my driver’s license test. And I passed! Parallel parking went well. After that, there was a backing portion I was not aware of. I was like wut. The road test was easier than I thought it would be.  Most of the points I missed were for my turns (crappy) and observation (even though I made exaggerated movements). All that matters is I have my license.

I drove to school today to get my parking pass. I could tell my parents were nervous lol but they need to get used to it (seeing as how I’ll be driving regularly starting Monday). It was nice. Not having my sister or parents in the front seat tensed up and whatnot. The info card said the parking stuff would start at 8:30 but I got there around 7:50. There was already a bunch of people when I got there. Parking passes are no joke. True to my school’s fashion, the whole thing was disorganized and took longer than it had to. But I finally got my parking sticker. My spot is alright. Relatively close to my first class. It’s not bad at all. I wish it was a little closer though.

Going to school today made me realize how much I don’t want to go back to school. I don’t really like anybody at my school. Sure, I have “friends” but they’re closer to being acquaintances that I’ve known for a while rather than my definition of a friend. I really have no desire to interact with people these days. It’s pretty ridiculous. Idk. I want to make something of my last year in high school and at the same time, I don’t. I’m ready to graduate.

This summer really flew by. Sigh. I have to take senior pictures tomorrow at some studio in a mall. Yippee. Oh, and apparently I have summer reading. I’ve been checking my school’s website often and I just noticed that they put up a summer reading list. And summer is about to end. ಠ_ಠ Since I’m taking AP English, the summer reading is required, not optional. We have to read 1984 and annotate and all this pointless crap. I’m so glad my school decided to put it up right before summer ended.